Dear friends, I feel overcome with such thankfulness. I just received yet more cards and personally written notes in the mail today. I am amazed at such honesty and openness in these cards, for the prayers that are being prayed over us, for the financial help. I am humbled to tears repeatedly. Why us, Lord? Why Jonan? Why would You use our sorrow and pain so deeply in the lives of others? Why are we so blessed in such a time of grief? So many grieve, we are not alone in our pain. But why such beautiful redemption should be known in so many hearts through our lives, through losing our son? Of all people, we are so blessed.
My prayer for you all is that the seeds that are being sown (of faith and love for God, and His love for you because of walking with us on this journey) would be protected. That they would not be choked out by the busyness of life, scorched by the heat of difficulty, trampled by the cynicism of the heart. But that these seeds would grow into mighty trees of redemption, offering shade and beauty to all who pass. And may the fruit of these trees feed untold numbers in the coming years to strengthen their faith and heal their souls. May our hearts be increasingly opened to the love of God like we have never known because of one little boy and his beautiful short life.
Thank you all for your love.
I find it hard to read any of your post without tears. I wanted to comment on this one though. I wanted to share some of my own feelings and thoughts about recent events. I have felt a strange sense of peace and hope for the future that surprises me every time. In my intellect, I keep thinking that you and Jeff (and myself) have been betrayed somehow. That hope has been stolen from me. I feel almost as if I have been teased. But those thoughts in my intellect rarely last more than a few seconds before they are overwhelmed with emotions of awe. Awe in how God has worked in your life, through Jonan, and the lives that are being touched, including my own. I would in the past, be angry with God over all of this. Yet, now, I cannot muster up any anger at all, only faith and hope. Faith in God, that he has it all covered. Faith that he is craddling you in his arms and covering all of you needs. Emotional, physical and most of all spiritual. And I feel hope. Hope in what is to come. Hope that God has plans for you and Jeff, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Even though there are still tears, there is an overwhelming sense of hope and anticipation for the future. I can hardly wait to meet my next grandchild and to hold them, play with them, see them learn to walk, talk, laugh and ... just be. Your blog is a constant inspiration to me personally. I can't possible feel anger for the present, and I can't possible feel anything but hope for the future. Love you Kimberly and Jeff. -Dad
ReplyDeleteVern spoke my heart...
ReplyDeleteI've been sad that I might not be in the States when your family grows but I still rejoice in having known this little guy :-) He brought me joy - and still does. I cannot think of Jonan and not find myself smiling (whether through tears or not). I've had so many visions of him dancing and laughing in glory...it lifts the heavy weight of my grief and leaves me with just grief... a sense of "I miss......." miss...what I never knew...and what I hoped for...