the ponderings of a mother

These are the ponderings of a mother in love with her children, both in my arms and in the grave. Some of these ponderings are quite emotional, some are funny, others contemplative and spiritual. All are sincere. May these writings bless you in many ways and bring you closer to the one, true God and Redeemer of all things.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Death by Death

Arriving, I drop immediately to my knees, instinctively brushing away the earth from carved stone.  Outlining every word with my fingers I remember our baby boy. Re-membering our family…the entirety therein.  We are all there together. All members.

Grass, earth, and smudge cover the piercing words set, now in stone.

I wipe clean every bit. Just like Jesus did for me.

Daddy jumps into help. Rushing to the car for liquid… let’s make it shine. No words exchanged, we both just knew. This was the earthly resting place of our son, it must be well kempt. Hands wiping carved granite, hearts beating both pain and praise.

Though set in stone, this is not the final word. Death. For us in Christ it is the doorway to resurrection. If we are wrong we are the laughing stock of the world, for certain. But, oh, if we are dead on…the greatest life of all awaits. Conquering death, by His death, we await resurrection life. Trusting that He wipes us clean…that which we feel is set in stone about us. Our shame, our failing, our inability to get it right, our secret envy, our addictions…not the final word for those in Christ.  Death, defeated by death. The ironic wisdom of the Only Wise God.

“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
                                        1 Corinthians 15:55

Sister meets brother…

...mere shadows of the meeting yet to come!

Praise be to God, did not one die…the other would not have lived…Trusting the mysteries of life and death in God. Pain and praise.

Family will be re-membered once again. Today we re-member to bring him near…just as we re-member His sacrifice to bring Him near in the Eucharist.   

Thank you to all who helped make it possible to set these words in stone…

Death…then life! The order of the Kingdom. 


  1. This brought tears to my eyes! Great pictures to capture the moments as well. We love u guys!

    1. Thank you Lori. Love doing this parent thing alongside you guys :) Much love.