the ponderings of a mother

These are the ponderings of a mother in love with her children, both in my arms and in the grave. Some of these ponderings are quite emotional, some are funny, others contemplative and spiritual. All are sincere. May these writings bless you in many ways and bring you closer to the one, true God and Redeemer of all things.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

On our way

(I wrote this Tuesday morning before boarding a plane. I thought I would have time to post….oops. I hope to write more this week as I am pseudo off-the-grid of life J)

At O’Hare airport here, on a rainy Chicago morning.  Thankfully no flights are delayed or cancelled. We are finally on our way to Half Moon Bay, CA. I have worked so much this last week and feel exhausted like I have not been since Jonan was born. My goal has been to get a bunch of work done so I could go with Jeff on his work trip. Basically, I am getting a mini-vacation for free. The catch is I am alone for a majority of the time. The good news about that is that I am about ½ introvert and ½ extrovert…and my introvert is ready for some good time alone. My plan is to have a prayer retreat.  I have with me a book on prayer, a Bible, journal, and a publication called Weavings, on the Christian spiritual life. I have all of the year 2007’s publications. I also intend to walk on (rainy) beach, see the Redwoods, and find some place to do both yoga and some form of art.  If I was not writing this myself I would be coveting someone else’s coming days J

I have a rhythm of going on this type of retreat once a year for 2 or 3 days. I don’t usually get to do this near a beach, however. Last year was the first time in 7 years I missed my retreat; there was a lot of transition and I just never made the time between moving twice, graduate school, changing jobs, and getting pregnant. I noticeably missed it. My heart knows when it gets going too has a difficult time slowing itself again.  The quiet center of my life gets crowded with unwelcomed visitors.The inertia of life’s movement takes over and I am not as able to connect with God, my community, and myself. After our lives came to a screeching halt with our January news, my heart slowed down significantly. But I generally have to get away to reach that place. And I am getting away…

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